How can I get out of a venue that I don’t really like, even if I’ve already paid for it. Is it even worth trying? In a rush, I chose a venue that would be more economically satisfying, and now all I can think about is pulling out. Is this normal?? It seems I’ve been having this attitude with everything…including my dress. Please help.

Yes, it’s normal to feel this way. I think you’d be surprised by how common these feelings are. The vast majority of couples feel some sort of buyers’ remorse at some point in their wedding spending. And why wouldn’t they? Weddings are expensive and most of us aren’t used to paying that kind of cash for anything.

The first thing you should do is look at your contract. Most venues will have their cancellation policies written in the contract. In most cases you can cancel but be prepared to lose your deposit or a large percentage of the rental fee. The venue will likely have a minimum number of days before the event when cancellation is possible without forfeiting all of your money so check into that right away.

The next thing is to evaluate why the venue is no longer working for you. Do you have cold feet or are there irreconcilable issues with the venue/management? You didn’t say in your email but there are some things you can do to work through both scenarios. You’re welcome to email back and we can open up the conversation about strategies.

I cannot see the laundry room floor. That’s not necessarily a bad thing, given that its godawful linoleum, but it’s after 11 pm and I’m getting married. Tomorrow. That’s right tomorrow – and there’s a one inch layer of stems and leaves on my floor.

It’s the first time in my life I have arranged flowers. Unless you count the wildflowers I routinely jam into vases during the summer months. I don’t know a thing about flower arranging – and here I am arranging my bridal bouquet, the maid of honor’s bouquet and the wedding centerpieces?

I am not insane. My mother has taken plenty of courses on flower arranging and she is leading the crew, which consists of my sister-in-law, my maid of honor and me. Still, I begin to feel panic set in. Panic that it will take all night and that I’ll wake up looking like an ogre. Panic that the flowers won’t turn out. I do not let on that I am feeling this way. I focus on the task at hand.

It’s edging towards 12:30 am and finally the last flower has found its rightful home. We all breathe a happy and tired sigh of relief that our night of DIY wedding fun is not only over – it’s a whopping success. The centerpieces are beautiful, the bouquets are lovely – and I saved a bundle.

That was eight years ago. And it’s one of the memories that stands out the most about my wedding.

DIY is not the easy route. In fact, sometimes DIY can be downright painful.

“Am I doing this right?”

“Will I ever get this done?”

“Do these look like crap or am I not seeing straight because it’s so bloody late?”

“These don’t look like they do in the Martha Stewart magazine. Oops, I missed step five.”

DIY can be a struggle – even for uber creative types. Heaps of time and effort go into choosing the right projects, finding tutorials and hunting down supplies (especially if you are pinching pennies). And that’s before you’ve sat down and got down and dirty with your project.

But you know what? The feeling of satisfaction from pulling it off is like no other.

As musician and songwriter Bruce Cockburn writes: “Nothing worth having comes without some kind of fight.”

Remember this as you stand on your own laundry room floor, ankle deep in stems and leaves, praying for a miracle.

Christina Friedrichsen is the author of Intimate Weddings: Planning a Small Wedding that Fits Your Budget and Style and owner of IntimateWeddings.com. She wrote Intimate Weddings after planning her own 50-guest wedding. She wants other brides to feel confident in their decision to have an intimate wedding – even if their ideas buck convention. She wants couples to feel a sense of validation and to hear about all the wonderful things a small wedding can offer them. That’s why she created IntimateWeddings.com.

IntimateWeddings.com provides brides with a slew of planning articles, as well as a place to find small wedding venues. The Intimate Weddings Blog is chock full of fresh ideas for planning a small wedding, as well as real weddings and a slew of creative DIY wedding ideas that cut costs without sacrificing quality.

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