DIY Bride | Empowering Couples To Create Amazing Weddings One Project At A time

Jan23 9

An Open Letter From Your Bridesmaid

[DIY Bride welcomes guest posts about DIY projects, weddings, and wedding-related issues. Today's post was submitted by "Jennifer" (not her real name), a bridesmaid in 3 weddings in 2011-2012. We generally require our guests to use their real names in posts but will, on occasion, allow a non de plume as we've done today. Warning: there is profanity in this post.]

Dear Bride,

When you asked me to be your bridesmaid, I was flattered you asked me and was genuinely excited to part of this experience with you. It’s one of the most important days of your life and that you chose me to stand with you as witness to this sacred event is an honor. At least it was until the devil of the wedding underworld possessed your soul and erased all sense of reality and compassion from your being.

I hate the world “bridezilla” because (a) it’s a dumb cliche and (b) it does not begin to touch on how horrible you can be around with all this wedding stuff. Someone needs to tell some things about you and your wedding. Think of this as your exorcism.

1. I am excited about your wedding and love hearing about the details but NOT ALL THE FREAKING TIME. Every conversation we have ends up being about your wedding. I realize it’s all-consuming for you to plan such a big, important day that’s still 9 months away. Let me say this: YOUR obsession is not MY obsession. Can we talk about Real Housewives or funny stuff at work or how my mom is doing after her 2nd chemotherapy session? I’m sure figuring out how many cocktail napkins to order or whether registering at Pottery Barn is better than Crate and Barrel is troublesome but I can’t relate. And, honestly, I don’t care. I know that hurts to hear but none of that really matters to me. I want to know if you’re happy (did you get that promotion at work?) if there’s anything I can help with within my means (more on that later) and to share what’s going on in my life – like we’ve always done up until the day you got engaged. The minutiae of your wedding planning: yawn. It’s ok to blow off steam and talk about that stuff every once in a while but not EVERY SINGLE CONVERSATION we have during the next 12 months.

2. You did NOT just ask me to color my hair, grow it out, lose some weight, whiten my teeth, get a spray tan, or tone up my arms, did you?!?! If you want a model or a clothes hanger, get a mannequin and leave me out of it. I’m not an accessory to your color scheme or your bridal outfit, got it? I’m a human being, presumably your friend, please remember that. Don’t ask me to alter my body to be a part of your wedding. You’re an asshole if you do and nothing will change that. Ever.

3. Speaking of clothing, please pick something that’s flattering on all of our bodies. I feel so bad for the plus-size girl you have in our party because she always get screwed in the flattery department. I’m glad the size 2 girl looks smashing in that pretty little gown you picked and, yes, it’s your dream bridesmaid gown since you saw it 9 days ago on StyleMePretty and it’s the perfect style to compliment your country chic theme, but on the rest of us – the sizes 8/10, 12, 14, and 18 – it’s not a good choice at all. Pick something else.

4. No, $250 plus alterations for a gown I will wear once is not an option. And, hell no, no matter how much you try to convince me I can “totally wear it again like at a New Year’s Eve bash!”, it’s totally not going to happen. You want me to wear a $250+ gown? YOU pay for it.

5. Unless we actually live in Vegas, a bachelorette party in Sin City is also not an option unless YOU pay for it.

6. Listen, being part of your big day is expensive to me. Dress, shoes, accessories, bridal shower, bachelorette party, hair/makeup, day-of stuff equals big bucks on my part. *I* don’t have a $25,000 budget for your wedding. I have my own financial commitments that preclude me spending $1,695 to be a bridesmaid (average cost per WeddingChannel.com) on YOUR big day. $1,695 would totally pay off my credit card plus two car payments. Or rent + utilities + food for an entire month. Think about that. Seriously, very seriously, think about the expense you expect your me to shell out before you start making grandiose plans for MY money. Don’t be pissed when I politely bow out of some activities or expenses because I refuse to go into debt for any part of your wedding. You can call me a bitch if you want as long as you call me a financially responsible one.

7. Let’s talk about the DIY stuff. I’m not a crafter. You know this. You’ve even laughed at me for my non-DIY ways like the time I called over a neighbor to nail in a picture hook because I was too nervous to hammer anything into my wall. So, yeah, when I come over to help with your projects don’t get in a snit because I’m not doing it right. Or if I volunteer to bring drinks and snacks or plates and cups to our “craft party” instead of being on the assembly line. I can stuff a envelope with flair or make a kick ass cosmo and tell great stories but beading/sewing/painting/stamping is not something you really want me to do because I don’t want to do it.

8. And speaking of crafts and expectations: it’s ok to ask me if I want to help and give me options on the things to volunteer for. Demanding or expecting me to create your whole freaking wedding with you is way out of line. I’m not free labor to be summoned at your will. My free time is precious to me and I don’t want to give up a whole weekend working on your wedding projects. I really don’t. I will, however, devote a few hours every now and then when it’s convenient for me to give you a hand because I love ya and truly want to be helpful. Another thing: give your helpers credit. I’m seeing too much of this “oggle my totally handmade wedding” B.S. that doesn’t mention 99.9% of the stuff was made by the bride’s friends and family.

9. Crafts and expectations, part deux: get your shit together ahead of time. Your inability to plan ahead should not equal panic on my part. Order your supplies, get the instructions in hand, and know well ahead of time how long a project requires to finish before it comes down to the wire. I’m never, ever going to stay up until 2:00 am on the day of the wedding assembling programs with you because, OMG guys!, you realized at 8pm that you forgot to pick up the pages at the printers and they closed at 6pm so you had to run to Office Max to get a new home printer and, wouldn’t ya know, you don’t have the right print driver for your laptop so it’s 11 pm by the time you’re done printing and we can start assembling. /rant

10. Don’t forget to have fun and be in love. I’ve been watching you torture yourself (and those around you) with the stress of putting on The Greatest Wedding on Earth for the last few months and you’re unbearable to be around. It’s not just incessant wedding talk, it’s the snarkiness, the constant indecision, the forgetfulness, the financial strain, the pressure on your awesome independent guy to turn into a male clone of you, the neglecting of your other relationships and the things you once enjoyed being replaced with this fantasy day you’re obsessed with. I miss you and want you back with sanity intact. Come back soon.

Jan23 7

Jessica + Will

Posted by whitney in Real DIYers

The wedding of Jessica and Will not only showcases one fabulous color palette (green and tangerine orange!), but one gorgeous venue and creative guest book. They were married at the Knoxville Botanical Garden and Arboretum which made for phenomenal photos, and smiles abounded. For their guest book, everyone wrote on squares of fabric which were gathered into a large quilt for the couple after the wedding.

DETAILS

Location: Knoxville, TN

Photography: Alex Bee Photo

Venue: Knoxville Botanical Garden and Arboretum

Cake: Yummy Cakes

Jan22 0

Sunday Summary

Posted by whitney in Blog

A recap of all the DIY goodness you may have missed this week!

Rachel and Brandon created their DIY wedding for under $1,000

Rick and Sarah give great advice about having the wedding that YOU want.

Our DIY downloads section is back!

Linnea and William went warm and vintage for their nuptials.

Jan20 2

Linnea + William

Posted by whitney in Real DIYers

Linnea and William wanted to focus on creating a warm and inviting atmosphere for their wedding, and the attention they paid to the handmade touches is evident. The flower arrangements were DIY, and Linnea collected lace to cover the vintage tablecloths. Their photographer said the excitement of the day was catching, and looking at the gallery photos, one cannot help but smile along with them.

DETAILS

Location: Charlottesville, VA

Photography: Elisa B. Photography

Venue: Colonnade Club

Dress: Bella Rosa Bridal

Caterer: Glorious Foods

Cake: Chandlers Bakery

DJ: Blast Method Entertainment

Jan19 0

Downloads Are Back!

Posted by Khris in DIYBride News

Hey DIYers,

The downloads section is back online! Thanks for your patience while we cleared out some old stuff. The direct url is: http://www.diybride.com/free-downloads/

Jan19 5

Rick + Sarah

Posted by whitney in Real DIYers

When the bride from today’s wedding was asked if she had any advice for the betrothed, Sarah responded “DO NOT BE AFRAID!!! Whatever you want to do . . . there’s always someone out there who shares your vision. And never be afraid to get your hands a little dirty. My most cherished keepsakes from the wedding are the handmade ones.” This advice is simple and perfect – it’s a day to celebrate you and your husband, so the wedding should speak volumes about your relationship and love for each other. Be yourself, and you can do no wrong!

DETAILS

Location: Doylestown, PA

Photography: Michelle King Photography

Venue: Mercer & Fonthill Museum

Caterer: memorable affairs

Video: Abominable Productions

DJ: Barrie Audio Video

Ice Cream: Cold Stone Creamery

Jan16 14

Rachel + Brandon

Posted by whitney in Real DIYers

When this wedding was first submitted to us, I must admit I wasn’t sure it was DIY. The gallery was so well edited, the details so polished, the whole day so pulled together, I assumed that the couple had hired out most of the decor elements. I was flabbergasted when Rachel emailed us more information about her wedding, including the end total spent on their day. It was under $1,000.

Rachel and Brandon were married on family property and EVERYTHING was created by the couple, their family, and their friends. For the ceremony, the groom built the backdrop and created the site, while Rachel’s stepfather built the doors she entered through at the beginning of the aisle. Family members also created the cake, and Rachel got her craft skills on by designing and executing invitations, banners, moss letters, wedding signs, and the bouquets for the bridal party (wheat for her bridesmaids and a brooches for herself). For the rest of the decor, she spent the months of her engagement collecting items from flea markets and antique shops. Since Rachel is a photographer, she took the photos that family and friends took during the wedding, processed and edited them to create a cohesive collection of images.