Dear DIY Bride: My dad and step-mom had offered to pay for our March 2011 reception expenses. Long story short – because Dad is getting divorced the amount of funds available to us is significantly (like less than half!) less than it was 6 months ago. We’ve signed contracts for all of our reception vendors. What do we do? – Anon
Dear Anon, I’m sorry you’re faced with such a stressful situation so close to your wedding. Dealing with finances and a breakup within your family must be difficult. My heart is with you! A cut in wedding funding after you’ve signed contracts is a serious situation. A contract is a legally binding document. You are, by law, required to pay the amount you agreed to when you signed the contract – even if you don’t have the money. Here’s my recommended plan of action: 1. Assess your current financial situation. How much money do you reallyhave to devote to your wedding? Is the money in your bank account or are the funds being paid by your dad? The more money in your control (in your bank account or credit line) the better especially if your dad’s funds could be restricted during the divorce proceedings. 2. Start looking over your contracts ASAP. Your vendors may have some built-in flexibility in the terms of the contract. With a severe cut in funding you’re going to have to make some changes. Many reception-related vendors will allow changes, including cancellation, only up to a certain date. Some contract changes may incur a fee. Some contracts may not offer any kind of flexibility. Before you start contacting your vendors, know the terms of your contracts. 3. I know this is really, really hard but you need to start looking at what can be altered in your wedding so that you can work within your new financial reality. The big 3 money savers: reduce the guest list, cut back on alcohol, nix the favors.
- Let’s throw out some numbers to help you visualize the savings. Most venues will sit 8 people to a round table so let’s cut 1 table’s worth of guests from your list. Let’s say your per guest catering fee is $45. Removing 8 people from your reception will save you: $360 in catering alone. Minus the rental of 1 round table and 8 chairs ($5/chivari chair and $11/table) and you’ll save another $51.00. Table linens? Let’s say $20. Dishes, glasses? $5/pp. Centerpiece? We’ll go cheap and say $50. Wine, alcohol, and soda? $10 per person is a safe number. Cutting 1 table of 8 people can save you over $600.
4. The next step is to contact your vendors and let them know what your situation is. In the best of circumstances, the vendors will be willing – and able – to negotiate a new contract with you to fit your new budget. This is where the work in steps 1 – 3 come into play; you’ll need to make some concessions like a smaller guest list, different menu options, cheaper linens, wine or beer, etc. for a negotiation to work. Knowing exactly how much money you have to work with, how small of a guest list you can get by with, and what extras you can downsize or change is absolutely essential. Do note that vendors are in no way obligated to negotiate with you. Your best bet for success is to approach them with kindness, humility, and honesty. (Not that you wouldn’t, dear Anon, I’m sure you’re a class act.) Many will be sympathetic to your situation and will be willing to work with you on creating a new contract if you give them enough time and incentive to do so. Since you’re 3 months out, that’s adequate time for them to make adjustments. What changes can often be negotiated? Catering: The food, of course. Cheaper cuts of meat, switching from fish to a vegetarian dish, serving seasonal dishes/ingredients are ways to save. Rentals: Downgrade linen rentals, switch from chiavari or specialty chairs to standard banquet chairs, skip chair covers or table runners. Use basic dishes and glassware. Floral: Skip any venue decor and go for centerpieces only (this is what the guests will notice most anyway), skip the bouquet toss, don’t decorate buffet or cake tables – let the food serve as the decor. Use seasonal flowers. DJ/Musicians: There’s not a lot of room for negotiation here beyond the number of hours contracted. Photography/Videography: Again, the number of hours contracted is the #1 way to save money unless you’re locked into a package deal. Go for a less expensive photography package or ask for a la carte options. Venue: Venue fees aren’t generally negotiable. You may be able to wrangle a better deal by switching from a Saturday to a Sunday or Friday-evening wedding. Good luck and best wishes to you! DIYers, do you have suggestions for Anon? Let us know!
