DIY Bride™

There has been some recent discussion among my wedding industry peers about serving cupcakes in lieu of a wedding cake. The consensus with planners and bakers is that they’re played out. But, you know, these guys see these things over and over and over all year long. I’m sure they’re sick of things before many of us even know they’re a trend.

What do you say? Are cupcakes in or out?

The uber-fabulous Darcy Miller, editorial director of Martha Stewart Weddings, offers 10 Ways to Trim Your Wedding Budget.

When you prioritize, plan, and adopt some of the money-saving steps below, it will be the beauty and joy of your wedding day you hold onto forever, not the bills.

Food and Drinks
1. Serve a signature drink, such as a punch or favorite cocktail, instead of providing a full bar and limit other alcoholic beverages to wine and beer, choices that will satisfy most of your guests.

2. Have your caterer use local fruits and vegetables that are in season. Not only will these items be more economical, they’ll taste fresher.

3. Order a moderately priced, plainly decorated cake, and make the focal point the cake topper. Vintage bride-and-groom figurines, wedding bells, horseshoes, a basket filled with fruit, or a pair of doves (from an antiques shop or handmade) are classic symbols that can make a cake memorable.

Flowers and Decorations
4. While most popular bridal flowers are available year-round, some traditional ones — peonies and lily-of-the-valley, for example — can be difficult to find and expensive out of season. Seek your florist’s advice before deciding on your flowers.

5. Use favors as seating or place cards to save a bit on stationery costs. For seating cards, write guests’ names and table numbers on strips of paper, affix them to the favors, and set in order on a table near the entrance. For place cards, put favors with names attached at guests’ places.

General Budgeting Tips
6. When it comes to invitations – save money and the environment by choosing digital options like http://www.pingg.com for save the dates.  For the wedding, you can use a more formal, printed invitation. We offer a number of gorgeous designs at pingg – http://www.pingg.com/info/designer_series?artist=martha_stewart.

7. Fridays and Sundays are generally less expensive than Saturdays for renting a venue.

8. To minimize the guest list, include your friends’ significant others but not casual dates.

9. For your reception, remember that a deejay can be less costly than a live band.

10. The most important thing about a wedding is making sure it is personal and reflects you. Prioritize aspects of the wedding that are most important to you. By compromising in some areas, you can afford to splurge on others.

Visit www.marthastewartweddings.com for even more tips and inspiration.

There are many different types of venues and some require more logistical preparation than others.  In particular, tented weddings require different consideration because one is building a facility, so to speak, from the ground up.  A question I get all the time is, “What size tent should I rent?  And how big should the dance floor be? “Even though your caterer will probably be taking care of the rentals for your wedding, you should know how to calculate what size tent / square footage you will need.  You want to know what you are getting actually fits your needs.

The following are the standard industry formulas used to calculate what size tent and dance floor will be needed while insuring adequate space for any special event.

1st – Determine how many guests will be attending your wedding.

2nd – Determine the type of wedding your are planning:
Type:                                                         Calculate:
Stand up Cocktail                                     6 square feet per person
Cocktail some seating                              8 square feet per person
Sit-down dinner at 8’ banquet tables       10 square feet per person
Sit-down dinner at 5’ round tables           12 square feet per person

3rd -  Additional uses of space to consider and add to the above calculated number are:
If you are having:                       Add:
Dance floor                                    5 square feet per person
3 piece band                              100 square feet
5 piece band                              250 square feet
7 piece band                              300 square feet
12 piece band                            450 square feet
DJ area                                        200 square feet
Buffet area /lines                      100 square feet per 50 guests
Beverage service area                50 square feet each

Keep in mind that generally no more than half of your guests will be dancing at one time.
That’s 50% of your guests and each couple requires 10 square feet.   So if you’ve got 100 guests,
You’ve got 50 couples.   Next you split this number in half because no more than half will be dancing
at one time.  This gives you 25 couples.  Next multiply 25 x 10 square feet per couple equals  a 250
square foot dance floor.

4th – You will then add all your calculations to determine the total square footage for the required tent size needed for a comfortable affair.  Always lean toward larger for a comfortable affair.

A reputable tent company will always send a representative to do a survey of the area to be tented at no
extra cost. The representative will measure the proposed area to be tented, check the slope of the land and
surrounding area so that proper tent recommendations can be made.   These calculations are not
meant to substitute the actual tent company’s survey and recommendations.  These calculations are
meant to help you understand some logistics that go into having a tented wedding.

Submitted By: Stella Inserra
Stella Inserra is the principal event consultant of Simply Dazzling Events, a New York based wedding & event planning company. She is a featured planner on E! Style Network’s hit show, ‘Who’s Wedding is It Anyway?’

Brides today often view Save the Date announcements as an obligatory part of the invitation ensemble and process. However, in many cases they are not needed, and therefore are a waste of money. With budgets tightening, the ability to save money in one area can mean being able to avoid cutting back in another.

Still uncertain about whether you need to send Save the Date announcements? There are only a few situations when they can be beneficial:

1. If you are planning your wedding for one of the most popular months, such as June or August, sending an advance notice can ensure your event makes it onto your guest’s calendars first. In addition to being popular for weddings, the summer months are also prime vacation time, and so an early announcement of your upcoming nuptials can be doubly helpful.

2. Weddings scheduled on or near a major holiday, religious or secular, can also warrant sending a Save the Date announcement. Often times, your guests will have to make adjustments in their plans to attend your event. Remember to keep in mind not only your own religious background and traditions, but also those of your guests, if you will have a variety represented. While your wedding may not be near an important holiday on your calendar, it is possible it could be on another’s.

3. A third situation that may warrant advance notification is if you are planning your wedding in a location where a large proportion of your guests will be required to travel some distance to attend. The more time you allow for your guests to make arrangements, the better chance they’ll be able to join your celebration. It is most helpful if this type of announcement also includes some preliminary travel information.

In nearly any other situation, a Save the Date announcement is a lovely touch, but largely unnecessary. You are excited, and want to shout your news from the rooftops. But be sure to consider the big picture of your plans – don’t spend on something you ultimately didn’t need.

Finally, remember that anyone who receives a Save the Date must be invited to the wedding. It seems obvious, but sometimes brides have found they regretted sending a few of those early announcements, and some have even considered dropping people who received a Save the Date from their final guest list. Don’t do it. Make your list carefully first, and if you choose to send a Save the Date, be sure everyone who receives one is someone you definitely want at your wedding.

Cheers & Congratulations!

Heather Lapham Kuhn is an independent graphic artist and owner of Truly Yours Custom Correspondence Design. She is a lover of all things paper and can lose track of time in an office supply store. Wife to one wonderful man, and mom to two great boys, three rambunctious dogs, three cautious cats, and countless pond fish, Heather finds she always has something to occupy her time. Truly Yours is online at www.trulyyourscustom.com and www.invitingnews.blogspot.com.

By Christina Friedrichsen, www.intimateweddings.com

I cannot see the laundry room floor. That’s not necessarily a bad thing, given that its godawful linoleum, but it’s after 11 pm and I’m getting married. Tomorrow. That’s right tomorrow – and there’s a one inch layer of stems and leaves on my floor.

It’s the first time in my life I have arranged flowers. Unless you count the wildflowers I routinely jam into vases during the summer months. I don’t know a thing about flower arranging – and here I am arranging my bridal bouquet, the maid of honor’s bouquet and the wedding centerpieces?

I am not insane. My mother has taken plenty of courses on flower arranging and she is leading the crew, which consists of my sister-in-law, my maid of honor and me. Still, I begin to feel panic set in. Panic that it will take all night and that I’ll wake up looking like an ogre. Panic that the flowers won’t turn out. I do not let on that I am feeling this way. I focus on the task at hand.

It’s edging towards 12:30 am and finally the last flower has found its rightful home. We all breathe a happy and tired sigh of relief that our night of DIY wedding fun is not only over – it’s a whopping success. The centerpieces are beautiful, the bouquets are lovely – and I saved a bundle.

That was eight years ago. And it’s one of the memories that stands out the most about my wedding.

DIY is not the easy route. In fact, sometimes DIY can be downright painful.

“Am I doing this right?”

“Will I ever get this done?”

“Do these look like crap or am I not seeing straight because it’s so bloody late?”

“These don’t look like they do in the Martha Stewart magazine. Oops, I missed step five.”

DIY can be a struggle – even for uber creative types. Heaps of time and effort go into choosing the right projects, finding tutorials and hunting down supplies (especially if you are pinching pennies). And that’s before you’ve sat down and got down and dirty with your project.

But you know what? The feeling of satisfaction from pulling it off is like no other.

As musician and songwriter Bruce Cockburn writes: “Nothing worth having comes without some kind of fight.”

Remember this as you stand on your own laundry room floor, ankle deep in stems and leaves, praying for a miracle.

Christina Friedrichsen is the author of Intimate Weddings: Planning a Small Wedding that Fits Your Budget and Style and owner of IntimateWeddings.com. She wrote Intimate Weddings after planning her own 50-guest wedding. She wants other brides to feel confident in their decision to have an intimate wedding – even if their ideas buck convention. She wants couples to feel a sense of validation and to hear about all the wonderful things a small wedding can offer them. That’s why she created IntimateWeddings.com.

IntimateWeddings.com provides brides with a slew of planning articles, as well as a place to find small wedding venues. The Intimate Weddings Blog is chock full of fresh ideas for planning a small wedding, as well as real weddings and a slew of creative DIY wedding ideas that cut costs without sacrificing quality.

There’s something really fun about the idea of having your own special, handmade font. Whether you’re after a font so you’re able to use your own handwriting in a document or creating your own creative personalised lettering. Fonts In Bloom is the easy way for transferring your ideas from paper to computer.

Fonts In Bloom provides a downloadable template for you to fill in with your design and then you simply upload it and preview before purchasing.

A DIY font would make a personal, but easy to use addition for text on programs, place cards
Fonts In Bloom charges US$15 to convert your work of art to a useable computer font. Check out http://www.fontsinbloom.com

Ms. Polka is the creative force behind one of my all-time favorite blogs, Polka Dot Bride.

Photo Credit:  White Aisle

The Pleasure of Your Company Is Requested
Don’t spend a lot of time thinking about the proper way to address a female friend with a live-in lover.  There are many online resources that will tell you what the proper etiquette is when it comes to wedding stationery.  One very popular one is the Crane’s Wedding Blue Book.  And proper etiquette is of utmost importance.  Keep reading for some guidelines that even Emily Post will be impressed by.
Firstly, invitation ensembles should be mailed out six to eight weeks before your wedding. If you are having a destination wedding or many of your guests are traveling from afar, I would suggest that your invites be sent eight weeks prior.
It’s a personal decision, but most traditional invitations consist of an inner envelope and an outer envelope. Make the green, eco-chic choice of leaving out the inner envelope.  If you decide to go with the two envelopes, the outer envelope is addressed and stamped while the inner envelope only has the names of those who are invited to the wedding.  Also a guest management tool, the inner envelope allows you to be very specific as to who is invited to your nuptials. This is an awesome way to communicate to your invitees whether they are allowed to bring a guest of not.   When a guest is invited but his or her name is unknown, it is proper etiquette to only address the outer envelope to your friend “Miss Wilkerson” and address the inner envelope to your friend and her guest “Miss Wilkerson and Guest”. If the inner envelope is addressed to only “Miss Wilkerson,” this clearly means that she may not bring a guest.  It is not inappropriate to address your friends and family in informal or familial terms on the inner envelope. This adds whimsy and a personal touch.

Photo Credit:  Armato Design
Some other fine points to remember:
Do not use initials or abbreviations even with professional titles.  Spell out first and last names, street names, apartment, place, court, avenue, number and states. Do not use an ampersand (&) in place of the word and.  Mr. & Mrs. Wright is a no-no.  Titles such as Doctor should be spelled out.  Mr., Mrs. and Jr. is acceptable.  Please be sure to obtain the correct title for clergy or military guests.   Professional designations such as Esq., MD, PhD, etc. are not appropriate for wedding stationery.  Sr., Jr. or III designations only appear on the outer envelope after the man’s last name. Do not write these on the inner envelope.

Children older than 18 should receive their own invitation, even if they are still living at home with the parents.
When addressing a married couple, you should always address both members of the married couple.  For an unmarried couple living together, the etiquette is to address each party individually, with each name appearing on a separately line.   For example: “Ms. Lisa Ferrell and Mr. Kenneth Sanders.”
All house numbers are written in numeric form except for “one,” which is spelled out. Apartment, suite and zip codes are also written in numeric form.   Please only use home addressed for mailing wedding invitations.
Return addresses should be printed on the back flap of the envelope and be centered and in the same color ink that you are using for the wedding invitation. Name or names are excluded from the return address.
For a complimentary, complete guide to How to Address Wedding Stationery, send a quick email to info{at}ksherrieandcompany{dot}com and I will happily deliver it to your inbox.  Whatever I can do to make your wedding tasks easier. . .

Katasha Butler is the owner of K Sherrie+Company Planning Atelier in Indianapolis. She blogs regularly at The Wedding Workroom.

Part II
Which Type of Printing Do You Prefer?
There are many methods of printing that you can employ for your invites.  Right now, letterpress is extremely popular, but cost-prohibitive for some couples.  I must say I am intoxicated by the rich feel and texture of a letterpressed invitation.  It just invokes illusions of grandeur for the wedding celebration to come.  At any rate, the four methods of printing I will discuss here is:  engraving, thermography, lithography and letterpress.

Engraving:  The practice of cutting grooves onto a hard, flat surface that results in a printing plate (usually made of copper) used for printing images on paper, which are called engravings.  Other terms often used for engravings are copper-plate engraving and line engraving.    Engraved invitations have a raised print appearance. It is pressed through the paper so that it can be felt on the back of the paper.  Engraving is the most traditional and formal printing option.  It is the oldest printing style, as well as the most expensive.

Photo Credit:  Martha Stewart Weddings

Thermography:  Less expensive than engraving, thermography is very similar in that they both have raised lettering. They differ in that thermography produces a shinier, glossy finish and the print does not press through the back of the paper.

Lithography:  Lithography uses chemical processes to create an image.  In nerd terms, lithography uses oil and water to divide the smooth surface into hydrophobic (water-hating) regions which accept the ink and hydrophilic  (water-loving) regions which reject it and thus become the background.  This produces the type of printing you see used in most books today—flat and non-raised.  Also known as offset printing or flat print, lithography produces sharp, clean images and text more easily than letterpress printing.  It is the most widely used printing style for wedding invitations and it is less expensive than both engraving and thermography.

Photo Credit:  Weddingbee

Letterpress:  Letterpress printing is achieved by printing text with movable type, in which the raised surface of the type is inked and then pressed against a smooth substance to obtain an image in reverse.  Since most letterpress equipment can only print one color at a time, printing multiple colors can be a challenge. The inking system on letterpress equipment is also less precise than lithography or engraving.  Letterpress is an expensive, but beautiful option, as many times, each sheet of paper has to be manually fed one at a time.

Photo Credit:  Martha Stewart Weddings

Visit the archives (Link: http://www.diybride.com/2008/03/31/ten-free-fonts-thatll-rock-your-invites/) in DIY Bride to see samples of different fonts for your own DIY invitations.  The readability and scalability of fonts are an important consideration when choosing a printing method.  In the next post, I will guide you in the etiquette of addressing your invitations to your honored (or honoured?) guests.  Leave a comment and tell us what printing method you used for your stationery.

Katasha Butler is the owner of K Sherrie+Company Planning Atelier in Indianapolis. She blogs regularly at The Wedding Workroom.

Photo Credit: {corrected}  Dauphine Press

I looooove paper!  And as a wedding planner, it’s a good thing that I do because I know that paper—aka invitation suites or stationery—sets the tone for your wedding celebration.

Today, there are so many options for a bride and her paper.  You can print them at home on your computer.  You can send handwritten notes, packaged in unique boxes or containers.  Or you can go the ultra-classic, high society route of heavy-stock, cream-colored paper engraved with a rich, black text.  I personally think the stationery you choose should reflect the personality of the couple, the ambiance of the celebration and it should also fit your pocketbook.

Photo Credit:  Bella Figura

Paper suites are one of the pieces of the wedding that many brides choose to DIY.  Please know that this takes lots of time and attention to detail.  The last sentence bears repeating:  lots of time and attention to detail.  I cannot remind you enough how invitations set the tone of the whole party.  However, if you want to have embellished and intricate invitations with all the bells and whistles, but you want to restrict the cash outflow from your wedding budget, you can easily DIY your invites.  In these next series of posts, I’m going to share some invitation basics with you to get you started.  I will finish the series with some paper eye candy that will hopefully inspire your DIY ensemble.

There were some beautiful DIY invitations made by Miss Cupcake of WeddingBee.  Click HERE (Link:  http://www.weddingbee.com/2008/08/13/inside-the-cupcake-invitations/) to follow her journey through making such delightful pieces.  And if that doesn’t exhaust you. . .be sure to tune in for the next post!

Photo Credit:  Dauphine Press

Katasha Butler is the owner of K Sherrie+Company Planning Atelier in Indianapolis. She blogs regularly at The Wedding Workroom.

[Part 1 of the Negotiating Series]

In the first part of the series, I talked about how attitude will affect your negotiation process. For both sides of the negotiation table a positive attitude and willingness to listen to each other will go a long way in coming up with a mutually satisfying agreement.

Today I’ll be discussing expectations in negotiation. This, above else, is where most people trip up the process. Many couples go into a negotiation with unrealistic expectations of the outcome and come out (often bitterly) disappointed that they didn’t get what they wanted.

A quick example of unrealistic expectations: A seamstress colleague of mine was asked to create a Reem Acra-inspired gown for a bride. The seamstress quoted a price and the bride came back with a counter-offer almost 1/2 less than the quote. The seamstress declined. The bride was very upset and couldn’t understand why the seamstress wouldn’t work with her. Afterall, she heard having a seamstress make a dress was cheaper than buying from a salon. It wasn’t like this seamstress was Reem Acra herself!

The problem here is that the bride expected couture-quality design at a discount mart price. From the seamstress’ point of view, the counter-offer wouldn’t have covered her expenses. There was no way she was going to work for free – nor should she be expected to. Had the bride suggested 5%  less, the seamstress may have been able to accommodate her with slight adjustments to the gown’s design/materials. That the client automatically assumed she’d work at half price killed the deal completely.

So, how do you set realistic expectations with wedding vendors?

1. Have a budget in place before you speak to any vendor. Knowing how much you actually have in hand to spend on any service or object is an absolute must before you negotiations can begin. The vendor doesn’t need to know this amount but YOU do.
2. Pick your vendors wisely. Most unrealistic expectations start with the notion that all vendors can work with people of all budgets. That’s not true. Know what you can afford before you pick your vendors and pick your vendors according to their standard fees. Expecting a $20/slice Silvia Weinstock cake when you have a $3/slice budget isn’t going to happen, no matter how charming you are during negotiation.
3. Don’t expect deep discounts on custom-designed services or products. There’s this weird notion that handcrafted or a la carte services are worth less than pre-packaged, off-the-shelf solutions. Not true, not true, not true.
4. Know that you’ll likely have to give up something in the negotation process to make it worth the vendor’s time/efforts. If you’re looking to get a lower price on, say, your catering quote, you’ll have to start deducting items from the menu or choose less-expensive alternatives to the things you want to serve. Remember: negotiation will only work if it’s a win-win situation for both parties.
5. Understand that vendors are under no obligation to alter their prices or services for you at all. I touched on this in Part 1 and it needs to be said again and again. Automatically expecting them to wheel ‘n’ deal isn’t realistic or fair. When they do so, consider it a personal favor and, please, don’t try to bully them into it. I hear a lot of stories from vendors about couples throwing tantrums, threatening to write bad reviews, and all sorts of dirtbag behaviour to try to coerce vendors into giving discounts. You don’t waltz into Bloomingdale’s or Wal-Mart or <insert your shopping nirvanna here> and demand a discount just for being you. You’ll get laughed out of the store. Same with wedding vendors.

In the next installment we’ll talk about positive negotiating tactics and how being flexible with the outcome of any negotiation will better help get you close to your negotiation goals.

[edited to add point #2]