Sep22 8

Real Etiquette: Complex Invite Wording

Kimberly writes in the following situation:

The bride’s parents are hosting the wedding. The groom’s mom passed away a few years ago and the groom’s father may or may not be at the wedding. The bride & groom have a daughter together (almost 1 yr old) and the groom also has 5 other kids (2-3 of them will be present @ wedding).

How do they include everyone on the invite as all are especially important to the couple?

Strict etiquette dictates that whomever is hosting the event is included on the invitation. Why? Because you really have no right to send invitations to a party you’re not throwing.

But we Real Etiquette-ettes get where you’re coming from. It’s a family thing. You love ‘em and want them all to feel as though they’re a part of this grand day. No harm in that. The problem here is that you’re wanting to send an invite from 11 people for an event to celebrate 2.

First of all, don’t list everyone’s names on the invitation.

Your best bet is to use family-oriented wording that tells the guests that the bride’s parents are hosting but the immediate families of the bride and groom are involved. However, the best spot for honoring your family is in the text of a wedding program or at the speeches during the reception.

Together with their families

Bride’s Name
and Groom’s Name

request the pleasure of your company
as they celebrate the union of their families

Saturday, the eleventh of May
two thousand and nine
at half past four in the afternoon

Saint Whatever Church
1245 Main Street
Your City, State

Reception to follow

OR

Mr. and Mrs. Jack Smith
request the pleasure of your company
as we bring together our families for a joyous day of celebration
at the marriage of their daughter

Jennifer Smith
to
Lucas Jones

Son of Mr. Mark Jones and the late Elizabeth Jones

Saturday, the eleventh of May
two thousand and nine
at half past four in the afternoon

Saint Whatever Church
1245 Main Street
Your City, State

DIYers, do you have any simple wording suggestions for Kimberly?

8 Comments

Becca | September 22, 2009 at 6:05 pm

The first set of wording looks best to me. There is no need to clutter up the invitation with all the names when the couple can appropriately honor them in the programs. They will also have the room to explain who each person is if they choose to do so.

Reply
Becca | September 22, 2009 at 1:05 pm

The first set of wording looks best to me. There is no need to clutter up the invitation with all the names when the couple can appropriately honor them in the programs. They will also have the room to explain who each person is if they choose to do so.

Reply
Jessica | September 22, 2009 at 1:16 pm

A good rule of thumb is who is hosting and/or paying is usually mentioned in the invite. “Together with their parents…” is what we did to keep in simple and to avoid the mixed families and names. I agree that the best place to give special thanks to the children is in the program or in a speech. Keeping the invitation simple is the best way to go.

Reply
Jessica | September 22, 2009 at 6:16 pm

A good rule of thumb is who is hosting and/or paying is usually mentioned in the invite. “Together with their parents…” is what we did to keep in simple and to avoid the mixed families and names. I agree that the best place to give special thanks to the children is in the program or in a speech. Keeping the invitation simple is the best way to go.

Reply
Kimberly | September 25, 2009 at 5:45 am

Thanks everyone for your help! I figured I was stressing out by trying to make this all too complicated! I will use 1 of the 2 above wording options and find a way to list all the others in our programs. DIY Bride is the best. Thanks for picking my question and to everyone for ya’lls help!

Reply
Kimberly | September 25, 2009 at 12:45 am

Thanks everyone for your help! I figured I was stressing out by trying to make this all too complicated! I will use 1 of the 2 above wording options and find a way to list all the others in our programs. DIY Bride is the best. Thanks for picking my question and to everyone for ya’lls help!

Reply
Kathleen Gooch | October 26, 2009 at 8:05 pm

You need to make a grammar correction to the invitation sent from the bride’s parents. Don’t switch from our to their. It should read the marriage of our daughter because that is the pronoun that was established in the first wording.

This may be nit-picky to some but as a long time master’s thesis reader and writer, the correct use of language is important to me and I think it should be to everyone.

Thanks for the ideas.

Reply
Kathleen Gooch | October 26, 2009 at 3:05 pm

You need to make a grammar correction to the invitation sent from the bride’s parents. Don’t switch from our to their. It should read the marriage of our daughter because that is the pronoun that was established in the first wording.

This may be nit-picky to some but as a long time master’s thesis reader and writer, the correct use of language is important to me and I think it should be to everyone.

Thanks for the ideas.

Reply