The year 2009 was one of the best of my life: the birth of my son, my 9th wedding anniversary, completion and release of my 2nd book and a brand new deal for #3, a huge growth with the site, and an incredible group of new friends and colleagues. I never knew living a fab life could be so exhausting!

With all of the great experiences in 2009 also came a slew of silly foibles, unintentional missteps, and just plain ol’ dumb mistakes. I am ready for 2009 to close and, with an open heart and mind, eagerly await for a new year to begin with the life lessons learned from the last 12 months.

My personal theme for the new year is Authenticity + Abundance. (I like the idea of yearly personal theme instead of a list of resolutions. It feels like a more fluid and adaptable approach to attaining goals.) Authenticity + Abundance came out of the realization that I’ve been existing in a weird place of fear in my business this year. The impact of this mindset has truly hindered the kind of growth and experiences that I want and need to move forward on this crazy, wonderful journey  I’ve begun.

So this year is about living a more authentic life, one that focuses heavily on building solid, trustworthy relationships where reciprocity of kindness, support, and creativity reigns supreme. This  in turn leads to abundance in all its manifestations: spirituality, finances, happiness, friendships, health, creativity, compassion, charity… all of the blessings that make life joyful.

I look forward to sharing the new year with you and send my sincerest wishes for an abundant, authentic 2010 to you and yours.

Khris

The hand model in the resin cufflink project in my first book, The DIY Bride: 40 Fun Projects For Your Ultimate-One-of-a-Kind Wedding, belongs to New York Times bestselling author Michael Buckley. Michael is the mastermind behind the Sisters Grimm series of children’s books and just released NERDS. How cool is that?

Famous author hand model

I’ve been slowly getting through my backlog of email this week and found some great questions from you guys and gals. I thought it’d be fun to answer them here.

Q: What program(s) do you use to track your site traffic?

A: I use a variety of programs because I think it’s unwise to rely on any one source for statistical information. I firmly believe that server stats are the most accurate; afterall, they collect 1st hand data directly from my website in real time. 3rd party providers don’t have direct access to that info and rely on data gleamed from other sources and their own nifty algorithms/voodoo. Every software package flaws and strengths. Some collect data that the others don’t. Some have nifty gadgets and others have pretty interfaces.

There are often HUGE discrepancies in the numbers reported from one source to another. Last month two of the sources had a difference of 17,000+ unique visitors, for example, and that happens fairly often among the sources I use. So I like to have a means to double-check and compare inconsistencies.

[edited to add: Here are some sources that I have used/continue to use as part of my stats analysis.]

• AW Stats and Webalizer are my primary sources because they use data directly from my server.
• Google Analytics, to some extent (though not lately because I always forget the code when I update blog themes and I really, really hate their TOS), as my primary 3rd party source
• CyStats plugin on WP
• Mint plugin on WP
• Quantcast as my other 3rd party source

Q: How long do you think you’ll do DIY Bride?

A. For the foreseeable future. I have big plans for expansion and growth of the DIY Bride brand.

Q: Is DIY Bride really trademarked?

A. Yep, it’s a fully registered trademark. You can do a search at the US Patent and Trademark Office to see for yourself if you’re so inclined.

For those of you who have not yet trademarked your business name, please do so straight away. My lovely friend, Terrica, recently lost her bid for the trademark for the brand name she’s been cultivating for years to someone who unscrupulously applied for the TM a day before she did. Read about it here and then get your butts over to the USPTO. Protect yourselves!

Q. When is your new book coming out? Can I get a review copy?

A. The Crafty Countdown will be released on 13 December. My publishers are providing a limited number of review copies to the media and established bloggers in the wedding and crafts industries. Shoot me an email if you’d like to be included on the list. Please include your name, blog URL or the media outlet you work for if you’re not a blogger.

And my favorite of the week:

Q. Why do you hate vendors so much? (This was in response to the posts about catching scammers.)

A. I don’t. I adore many, many vendors in the wedding industry. I fully support the use of vendors and advocate that my brides use vendors whenever DIY doesn’t make sense for themselves.

What I don’t like is when vendors try to take advantage of me, my site, my readers, or the wedding community. There are a multitude of unethical individuals in our midst and I have zero problem pointing them out and teaching my colleagues how to spot them on their own. The more we talk openly about this stuff, the better our industry will become and the less likely we’ll fall prey to predatory vendors and scammers.

I’ve received several emails from CompanyX as I’m sure many of you have as well. Please beware of “offers” like this.

AUDITION FOR our NEW TV-SHOW-PILOT!
THE MOST FUN WEDDING COMPETITION EVER!

FREE PUBLICITY in exchange for your participation in the fun!!!
ONE FULL DAY [date redacted] (Film Shoot Screen Test!)

Seeking WEDDING VENDORS wishing to contribute wedding services and products as prizes for competing brides in exchange for free publicity in our TV SHOW PILOT SHOOT!

You, Your product, Your Services and Your Name displayed and filmed. Exposure to tons of brides competing for your services and more…..

For Questions or if you are curious about more details, feel free to call [name redacted] (the director, producer and coordinator of this event) directly at her desk – [phone redacted]. (FAQs Below)

Follow this link to SECURE YOUR SPOT in our ONE-DAY TV Show Pilot Screen Test!

Also – Beginner vendors seeking to increase revenues are welcome to sign up for our next class [date redacted] geared to help event planners and vendors maximize profits in changing economic times!

ANSWERS TO YOUR QUESTIONS BELOW:

Q: Where will this one day shoot be held?
A: In a big hotel or catering facility in our around [city redacted] within 20 miles. We are negotiating now. Will be decided by end of November.

Q: When will this one day film shoot/bridal show wedding planning competition be held?
A: In or around [date redacted] or one open Sat or Sunday in January or February – depending on the date the facility is willing to give us.

Q: What will the duration be?
A: 8am-12midnight or later (arrival 7am) one full day of filming, competing, voting, exhibiting and fun!

Q: What will this cost me, as a participating vendor:
A: $195 Application Processing Fee. $6.95 Materials Fee.
Cost of Breakfast, Lunch, Dinner, Snacks, Deserts and Beverages paid directly to the facility.
Possible overnight rooms at the facility or near-by (we are negotiating courtesy rates now)
Any preparation of your materials for display at the bridal-show part of our filming
Any travel you incur to arrive at our facility.
Preparation of your Party Shoes!

Q: What value does participation in this event hold for me?
A:  I will meet a ton of brides that are still shopping their weddings and possibly make some sales and contacts. More probably than your most expensive bridal show.
I will meet a ton of wedding and event planners locally and nationally that I can network with.
I will meet and network a ton of other wedding vendors locally and nationally that I can network with and exchange referrals with (all the same benefits of a $500-$5000 bridal show event but without the expense!)
I will be filmed as a participating wedding vendor presenting my product or services and graciously donating a prize to one of the winning brides that are competing to win a free wedding.

Q: Who is this [name redacted]; Producer, Director, Coordinator and Creator?
A: See Recent TV Interview w/Iris!

Q: What is [company] and [other company]l?
A: [company redacted] and is the Leading Event Planning and Music Production Company in [city redacted] for all types of events and musical performances and more. [name redacted] is the founder of this company and she has engaged in one way or another in over 100 million dollars of events over the last 20 years.
[company redacted] is a series of classes for Event Planning and Event Vendors to excel in their events skills and related business activities. Private Classes with [name redacted] are held every month in [other city redacted] (the next weekend class is [date ]). Work-Study program is also available with internships in catering, flowers, music, photography, technical, language, computers, invitations, favors, lighting, sound and more…

Q: Where will this film end up?
A: Our goal is to land a major network station and set up a bidding war for our product. Maybe we will end up on a smaller station like WE or OPRAH however we are shooting for the sky. We are advertising heavily to everyone everywhere. We will be inviting all the networks to be our guests and register to attend and be a part of the filming and fun. We are exerting ourselves to the limit in publicizing our event and will be also contacting every part of the media, Internet and press that we can get access to.

This most fun, playful and heart-felt spirited event that will feature some of the best vendors in the country sharing with open hands their art and riches with teary eyed brides that are competing with all they have to win a gift from a participating vendor for their special day.

Our drama will be fun, heart-felt, educational, entertaining and uplifting. Please join us in making this the best event of the year! Lets turn this economy around by stimulating ourselves!

JOIN ME by SECURING YOUR RIGHTFUL PLACE IN OUR SPOTLIGHT ON YOU by Following this Link!

Warmly,

[contact info redacted]

The email is all mixed up.

• Is it for a pilot TV show audition or is it pimping a school for newbie vendors in all areas of the wedding industry? Both are mentioned in the same “offer” email.
• There’s “free” publicity but businesses are charged over $200 in fees to participate. How is that free? The TV  pilot shoot is apparently being done by a wedding coordinator NOT by a TV production company. Unless they’re public access stations she’s going for, there’s no way that a network will pick up a pilot from a company that doesn’t specialize in TV show production.
• The event organizer claims to be #1 in her field in a major East Coast metro area. A quick google search dispels that claim in a matter of seconds. There are no legitimate, verifiable 3rd party endorsements, no major media mentions, no press profile. And this blurb: “engaged in one way or another in over 100 million dollars of events over the last 20 years” kills me. “In one way or another”? That says absolutely NOTHING and demonstrates she’s reaching pretty hard for demonstrable facts about her abilities and her company.
• The event coord doesn’t even know where the event will be held for another month but is asking you to pay up. In fact, based on the dates mentioned in her letter, she’s not likely to know where the actual event will take place until a few days before the event is held. This is not the way a professional event planner operates and certainly should raise alarms about the offer.
• The list of benefits to participate is weak. Networking? People, you can network for free or through well-established and respected organizations in your target market in your target geographical locations. “I will be filmed as a participating wedding vendor presenting my product or services and graciously donating a prize to one of the winning brides that are competing to win a free wedding.” Whoa! I love how you’ll graciously donating a prize is slipped in there without mention of that anywhere else. And, wait, there will be brides at the pilot? Huh?
• There’s no clear, concise talk about what, exactly, the pilot is for. It’s a contest? It’s a vendor showcase? What is it?
• The answer to the “Where will this film end up?” question KILLS me. “Our goal is to land a major network station and set up a bidding war for our product. Maybe we will end up on a smaller station like WE or OPRAH however we are shooting for the sky.” As a general rule only well-established production companies can pitch to major networks. WE is a network that accepts only production company submissions (not wedding planning companies) and OPRAH is a television show, not a network. Oxygen is the network she founded and has another on the way. The changes of getting on Oprah’s show by any company cannot be guaranteed by any company. That the event coord is suggesting that this pilot can get YOU on Oprah is 100%, certifiably laughable.
• “We are advertising heavily to everyone everywhere. We will be inviting all the networks to be our guests and register to attend and be a part of the filming and fun. We are exerting ourselves to the limit in publicizing our event and will be also contacting every part of the media, Internet and press that we can get access to.” This makes NO sense whatsoever. She’s limiting publicizing the event/pilot (which is it, by the way?) but she’s inviting everyone everywhere. It’s contradictory and I’m concerned that there’s no focus on whom she’s marketing to. What demographics? Are they in-line with your target demographics?

I have other issues with this but, my friends, please know that I have backs on this one: STAY AWAY from this “opportunity”.

{Edited to clarify points and fix spelling, punctuation errors 12 Nov.}

My Fake Commenters and IP Addresses post generated some questions from you guys. Several of you wanted to know other ways to spot sneaky vendors who try to pose as brides in effort to promote their company/product. This happens quite a bit and it’s maddening, really. For those of us who work very hard on our sites and spend quite a bit of money in operating costs, having someone try to abuse our good will and our money for their own personal gain is such a dirtbag move on their part. If you want advertising and promotion, pay for it, or allow me to discover you through legitimate means myself. Anything else will gain you nothing but my ire.

Here are some ways to catch thieving dirtbags that I employ:

1. I personally read each of my comments. Learn what legit comments to your site look like. You’ll get a handle on what the majority of your commenters talk about and the language they use. Spammers tend to use promotional language even when they’re trying to be sneaky. If you’re a newbie blogger, check out the comments at your favorite bloggers’ sites to get a feel for the natural rhythm of commenting conversations.

2. Google and Yahoo are my friends. Whenever I get a comment that triggers that “uh oh” feeling, I hop on my favorite search engines and do 3 different searches:

• one for the exact wording used in my comment
• one for the company/url posted in the comment
• and one on the email account used by the commenter

I’ve had a recent commenter post about what favors she’s using and she just happened to drop the URL of her custom designer (ending in …..ffle.com for those of you getting similar spam this week) even though she didn’t have any idea what her favors would be. Did a quick search and found that someone was posting comments on other blogs with similar wording about that same company. Several, in fact, were posted on the same date under different user names all over the wedding blogosphere. It’s pretty obvious this is the same person who is spamming wedding sites. FAIL. Delete. Name on The Blacklist. The sad thing is that if she had personally introduced her company to me with a simple hello and an email, she had a pretty good chance of a mention and possible recommendation. Her chances of ever being promoted on my site or me recommending her to my clients is now exactly “when Hell freezes over”.

3. Keep a blacklist. I have an Excel spreadsheet where I list the email address, IP address, and spammy message for anyone suspected of spam. I’ve found a lot of similarities in approach and language of spammers this way. Because of the blacklist there are certain words and phrases that trigger a spam review on my site.

4. Beware of any comments that are all praise and that have the URL field fill in on the form. While we all love to show the love we’re getting in our comments, some spammy folk simply say something nice so they can get a linkback from your site. Be sure to check those links, too! Check out Drive-By Comments for some great examples of what I’m referring to.

I know this has been going around the networks this week but I wanted to join in the chorus of praise for Nancy Liu Chin’s article over at WeddingbeePRO. Nancy discusses the cost of doing business as a florist and how profit margins are “horrific”.  I love these types of insider views and applaud the bravery it takes to expose one’s inner-workings to the public. Do be sure to read through the comments; there’s some great info there, too.

Krizia’s post over at ProBlogger really struck close to home this week. She addresses issues with the aggressiveness of PR people increasing in the recession. While I can see both sides of the story here, what really got me was Krizia’s mention of PR/Marketing people wanting to change the language of the reviews she’s published. This rather angered me, actually.

Public Relations Professionals: Reviews aren’t advertisements. You don’t get to dictate the copy of a review. If you do, it’s no longer a review. It’s advertising and should be presented as such. I have very strong opinions about this type of behavior and it’s not pretty. There’s a post coming up about paid “editorial” content in the wedding industry. Stay tuned for that one.

Twitter just launched the ability to create lists this week. Liene Stevens has shared a great list of lists to follow if you’re interested in some good wedding industry-related reads.

On the publishing front, Barnes & Nobel released their e-reader, Nook, a rival to Amazon’s Kindle. I have lust in my gadgety heart for the Nook but I’m not buyin’. The price point is too high, I already have the ability to read ebooks on my laptop and iPhone, I already have too many gadgets, and I prefer book books. You know – the paper kind. I’m old school that way. But, darnit, look at it. It’s sexy.

B&N Nook e-Reader

• Emails received for all DIYBride accounts in the month of September: 2,038 (3rd highest email volume month ever)
• Number of spam emails (not included in the count above): 1,012
• # of spam emails that didn’t get caught: 422
• # of emails that were marketing/pr/sales pitches from other companies: 919
• # of emails that should’ve been directed to other sites/companies instead of me: 5

Most common email topics:

• Where can I find xyz? (22% of total emails rec’d)
• Please send me xyz file. (8%)
• Can you help me with xyz project? (8%)
• Will you donate <a product, your book, some projects> to my wedding/blog/event? (5%)

If I devoted 1 minute per non-spam email, that’d be 34 hours spent last month just reading mail. Crazy!

6 comments within 5 minutes of each other on 6 different posts from 6 different people. Not terribly unusual. Normally I wouldn’t be too concerned but, wow, look at those IP addresses. They’re all the same. How could that be? Hmmm…

This is something I’m seeing more and more lately. Sneaky vendors – or bloggers looking to promote their multiple sites with mad affiliate links – are posting under multiple and/or false email addresses trying to get traffic from my site. And then there are the vendors posting fake but oh-so-glowing reviews of their own companies (yeah, certain floral supply company, I’m looking at you). Oh, then there was one last week from a “reader” who commented that she found the greatest company in the whole world at {redacted}.com and their product was the best thing in the history of things. She was certainly going to use them for her wedding. Great! Except her email address was vendorname@{redacted}.com. Uh huh.

After 5+ years of doing this I’m quite adept at picking out the fakers. Some are easier to spot than others but there are certain behaviors and clues that give them away. It’s usually the IP address that seals the deal for me. I do keep notes on the offenders and have a running list of vendors and sites who’ve tried to pull a fast one on me and my readers.

Listen, I know how tough it is to build traffic, to get sales, to operate a website. I’ve spent the last 5+ years doing it here. The difficulty of running a business doesn’t mean you get to abuse the kindness (and traffic) of other sites for your own benefit. That’s just lazy and dishonest. There are no shortcuts in building a business and credibility. Do the work. Don’t be one the jerkwads who give the wedding industry a bad reputation.

If you want to introduce your company to me and my readers email me a quick note. Introduce yourself. Tell me a bit about who you are and what you do and, more importantly, why my readers would be interested in what you’ve got to offer. You have a better chance of getting some PR from me than if you try to pull a fast one. If you go the sneaky route, you’re doing nothing but telling me you’re a  jerk and that I want nothing to do with you. That’s fine. I like shortcuts, too.

One of the most frequently asked questions I get is “How did you get your book deal?” but what’s really being asked is “How can I get a book deal?”

I’m happy to share my experiences with publishing but it’s important to know that there are as many routes to getting published as their are publishers. My path likely won’t be the same as yours; yours will be vastly different than the next person.

In 2005 I was approached by a book packaging company. [Note: Book packagers are companies that develop book ideas and look for writers to execute them. (This is an oversimplified description of what they do; many offer a vast array of services to the publishing industry.)]

The partner who contacted me had recently had a wedding and was familiar with my site from her forays into planning her own weddings. She thought a DIY wedding crafts book was a good idea, liked my site, and wanted to know if I wanted to partner on a book.

After doing some research about the company I said yes.  It took a few months for us to develop a solid book idea and to create a proposal to shop around to publishing houses. We received multiple offers, went with whom we thought would was best and then I wrote a book. (Again, this is an oversimplification of the process. )

2.5 years after I was  first contacted my debut book, The DIY Bride, was released. Even though I had an amazing team working with me to get the deal it was a long, hard process.

Jenny Hart from Sublime Stitching has a fantastic article over a Venus about getting a book deal. She’s 100% spot on and wonderfully articulate so I won’t rehash the normal process to authordom here.

Media Bistro has posted some important clarifications about the new FTC guidelines.

• The citation amount isn’t $t11k. It’s $16k.
• The FTC doesn’t issue the fines. Violations go through the Federal court system.
• The FTC has never brought a case against a consumer endorser. They go after the advertisers.

Fast Company has a nice roundup of questions from prominent bloggers and answers from the FTC.

C NET points out that the new guidelines apply to all social media, not just blogs.

PR Week US has a great editorial about blogger credibility and transparency.