For those of you doing the From The Heart Thank You Card on page 48 of The Crafty Countdown book or page 24 of the bookazine, there are some corrections you need to know about:

1. The envelope size is listed as 5″ square. Nope! It should be a 5 1/2″ square envelope. (Resources below.)

2. Some folks are having problems scaling the heart template on copy machines. To help you out (and save some frustration), here’s the template I used in PDF format: http://www.diybride.com/the-crafty-countdown/attachment/heart_thank_you_template_orig/

Some swell places to buy 5 1/2″ square envelopes:

• LCI Paper: http://www.lcipaper.com/55-envelopes.html
• Paper Papers: http://www.paper-papers.com/square-envelopes-5-5-inch.html
• Paper and More: http://www.paperandmore.com/search/search.php?keywords=5+1%2F2%22
• Action Envelope: http://www.actionenvelope.com/ae/control/category/~category_id=SQUARE
• Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/Square-Invitation-Envelope-White-5-5/dp/B001BZVAHU
• Envelopper Inc: http://www.envelopperinc.com/mm5/merchant.mvc?Screen=CTGY&Category_Code=ENQ55

Dear Bride,

When you asked me to be your bridesmaid, I was flattered you asked me and was genuinely excited to part of this experience with you. It’s one of the most important days of your life and that you chose me to stand with you as witness to this sacred event is an honor. At least it was until the devil of the wedding underworld possessed your soul and erased all sense of reality and compassion from your being.

I hate the world “bridezilla” because (a) it’s a dumb cliche and (b) it does not begin to touch on how horrible you can be around with all this wedding stuff. Someone needs to tell some things about you and your wedding. Think of this as your exorcism.

1. I am excited about your wedding and love hearing about the details but NOT ALL THE FREAKING TIME. Every conversation we have ends up being about your wedding. I realize it’s all-consuming for you to plan such a big, important day that’s still 9 months away. Let me say this: YOUR obsession is not MY obsession. Can we talk about Real Housewives or funny stuff at work or how my mom is doing after her 2nd chemotherapy session? I’m sure figuring out how many cocktail napkins to order or whether registering at Pottery Barn is better than Crate and Barrel is troublesome but I can’t relate. And, honestly, I don’t care. I know that hurts to hear but none of that really matters to me. I want to know if you’re happy (did you get that promotion at work?)  if there’s anything I can help with within my means (more on that later) and to share what’s going on in my life – like we’ve always done up until the day you got engaged.  The minutiae of your wedding planning: yawn. It’s ok to blow off steam and talk about that stuff every once in a while but not EVERY SINGLE CONVERSATION we have during the next 12 months.

2. You did NOT just ask me to color my hair, grow it out, lose some weight, whiten my teeth, get a spray tan, or tone up my arms, did you?!?!  If you want a model or a clothes hanger, get a mannequin and leave me out of it. I’m not an accessory to your color scheme or your bridal outfit, got it? I’m a human being, presumably your friend, please remember that. Don’t ask me to alter my body to be a part of your wedding. You’re an asshole if you do and nothing will change that. Ever.

3. Speaking of clothing, please pick something that’s flattering on all of our bodies. I feel so bad for the plus-size girl you have in our party because she always get screwed in the flattery department.  I’m glad the size 2 girl looks smashing in that pretty little gown you picked and, yes, it’s your dream bridesmaid gown since you saw it 9 days ago on StyleMePretty and it’s the perfect style to compliment your country chic theme, but on the rest of us – the sizes 8/10, 12, 14, and 18 – it’s not a good choice at all. Pick something else.

4. No, $250 plus alterations for a gown I will wear once is not an option. And, hell no, no matter how much you try to convince me I can “totally wear it again like at a New Year’s Eve bash!”, it’s totally not going to happen. You want me to wear a $250+ gown? YOU pay for it.

5. Unless we actually live in Vegas, a bachelorette party in Sin City is also not an option unless YOU pay for it.

6. Listen, being part of your big day is expensive to me. Dress, shoes, accessories, bridal shower, bachelorette party, hair/makeup, day-of stuff equals big bucks on my part. *I* don’t have a $25,000 budget for your wedding. I have my own financial commitments that preclude me spending $1,695 to be a bridesmaid (average cost per WeddingChannel.com) on YOUR big day. $1,695 would totally pay off my credit card plus two car payments. Or rent + utilities + food for an entire month. Think about that. Seriously, very seriously, think about the expense you expect your me to shell out before you start making grandiose plans for MY money. Don’t be pissed when I politely bow out of some activities or expenses because I refuse to go into debt for any part of your wedding. You can call me a bitch if you want as long as you call me a financially responsible one.

7. Let’s talk about the DIY stuff. I’m not a crafter. You know this. You’ve even laughed at me for my non-DIY ways like the time I called over a neighbor to nail in a picture hook because I was too nervous to hammer anything into my wall. So, yeah, when I come over to help with your projects don’t get in a snit because I’m not doing it right. Or if I volunteer to bring drinks and snacks or plates and cups to our “craft party” instead of being on the assembly line. I can stuff a envelope with flair or make a kick ass cosmo and tell great stories but beading/sewing/painting/stamping is not something you really want me to do because I don’t want to do it.

8. And speaking of crafts and expectations: it’s ok to ask me if I want to help and give me options on the things to volunteer for. Demanding or expecting me to create your whole freaking wedding with you is way out of line. I’m not free labor to be summoned at your will. My free time is precious to me and I don’t want to give up a whole weekend working on your wedding projects. I really don’t. I will, however, devote a few hours every now and then when it’s convenient for me to give you a hand because I love ya and truly want to be helpful. Another thing: give your helpers credit. I’m seeing too much of this “oggle my totally handmade wedding” B.S. that doesn’t mention 99.9% of the stuff was made by the bride’s friends and family.

9. Crafts and expectations, part deux: get your shit together ahead of time. Your inability to plan ahead should not equal panic on my part. Order your supplies, get the instructions in hand, and know well ahead of time how long a project requires to finish before it comes down to the wire. I’m never, ever going to stay up until 2:00 am on the day of the wedding assembling programs with you because, OMG guys!, you realized at 8pm that you forgot to pick up the pages at the printers and they closed at 6pm so you had to run to Office Max to get a new home printer and, wouldn’t ya know, you don’t have the right print driver for your laptop so it’s 11 pm by the time you’re done printing and we can start assembling. /rant

10. Don’t forget to have fun and be in love. I’ve been watching you torture yourself (and those around you) with the stress of putting on The Greatest Wedding on Earth for the last few months and you’re unbearable to be around. It’s not just incessant wedding talk, it’s the snarkiness, the constant indecision, the forgetfulness, the financial strain, the pressure on your awesome independent guy to turn into a male clone of you, the neglecting of your other relationships and the things you once enjoyed being replaced with this fantasy day you’re obsessed with. I miss you and want you back with sanity intact. Come back soon.

The downloads section is back online! Thanks for your patience while we cleared out some old stuff. The direct url is: http://www.diybride.com/free-downloads/

Luckily there’s e.m. papers to help those of you who want the satisfaction of getting hands-on with the creation of your invites but want a professional-quality design.

Papelo Invitation by e.m. papers

How it works:

1. Browse the e.m. papers site for a design you love and buy it.
2. You’ll be sent an editable PDF file that allows you to input your names, wedding date, and other details on the invitation and other stationery pieces you purchase.
3. When you’re satisfied with your wording print the document onto cardstock (or take it to a professional printer).
4. Cut (or have the cut) the invitations from the cardstock. Voila! That’s all there is to it. You’re now ready to stuff your envelopes and send your invites.

It's super easy to add your own details to templates.

e.m. papers offers 9 different invitation sets (invitation, save-the-date, RSVP, thank you, program, seating list, table numbers, place cards, and menus) for only $100. For those of you wanting only invitations, they offer 23 invitation designs at $25.00 each. Of course you may purchase matching save-the-dates and other individual stationery pieces to create a beautiful invitation suite that fits your unique needs. And, yes, e.m. papers offers customization options on all invitations and wedding paper goods for a nominal fee.

Current Design Offerings, Wedding Sets

And to top it all off should you need some extra help or a tutorial about using/printing your template, they’ve got you covered there, too. Eleanor, the talent behind e.m. papers, has easy-to-follow tutorials and FAQs online for your convenience.

Sending beautifully designed, semi-DIY invitations couldn’t be easier!

Registries, my friends, are practical and as much of a blessing for the gift-giver as they are for the couple. Nearly everyone is short on cash, time, and resources so why not embrace something that helps make gift-giving easier and that’s tailored to the needs of the recipients?

While traditional big box store-based registries work great for some, there’s a new type of registry that politely and efficiently lets your guests know what you need most: the flexibility of cash. With a cash wedding registry you can create a fully customized gift list of what you want without being tied to any particular store, brand, or even season. Want one-of-kind handmade goods from Etsy? How about an eco-adventure honeymoon? Dying to catch those end-of-season snowboard sales for those matching boards of your dreams? Dream of an upgrade to your kitchen faucets? Start an adoption fund? Deposit a Gift makes it all possible.

Here’s how it works: you create a Deposit a Gift account, list the specific gifts you want, and pass along your registry info to your guests. Guest may then choose what they want to contribute to by “buying” one of the things on your list.  For example, you can ask for a big-ticket item like a safari honeymoon in Kenya and break down it down into monetary requests such as 8 requests of $200, 40 requests of $100, 50 of $50. Or you could ask for specific things or items related to the honeymoon to be covered like a dinner at the resort, your airline tickets, and a new set of luggage. You decide what you want and control the price points to fit your guests’ budgets. When you’re ready collect all of your cash, you can elect to be paid via a free direct deposit, gift card, or check.

A sample honeymoon registry.

Though the money your guests give is linked to specific gifts or milestones, they’re not actually buying you those things; they’re giving you the financial ability to get them for yourself at your convenience and on your own terms.

Deposit a Gift  makes registering and gift-giving simple and easy. Signing up for your free account takes just a few minutes and you get a lovely customizable wedding website along with your registry. How awesome to have all of your important event info in one convenient place. Love that! (Note for those of you new to the wedding planning process: the better organized you are, the happier you will be throughout the whole planning experience.)

Before you sign up with Deposit a Gift , do check out their testimonial page to see what real customers are saying about them and see some clever ways users are implementing the service. Creating a registry is free, by the way, so click on over to get started today!

My third book, An Affair To Remember, was released yesterday. Like the previous two books, it’s a general wedding crafts book, covering a wide range of projects (40 of them to be exact) from your engagement party through your reception.

Publisher’s Weekly (this is a Very Big Deal – for me, at least) gave it a really swell review:

Cochran (DIYBride.com) provides an idea trove that will inspire the nuptial process of the budget-conscious. Projects are mostly favors, invites, ring holders and a few of the unexpected, such as making your own wedding rings with precious metal clays. She holds the crafter’s hand through the process of producing cigar-box welcome packages, teacup centerpieces and paper parasols, with detailed lists of supplies and directions, tips and hints, and an itemized price breakdown – with a dollop of humor hot-glued on the side. Eight wedding themes are presented, with five projects for each, enhancing any occasion calling for extra flair and less expense. And, if fairy-tale flower girl costumes or chicken-wire seating holders aren’t your thing, inspiration can be mixed and matched. And of course, that critical element – an estimate of just how many bridesmaids, moms and aunts will be required for crafty assistance – completes this wicker basket of ideas that will enliven the celebration of marriage – or just any good party.

DIY Bride BookAZine 2012

My publishers have released an abbreviated version of my second book, The Crafty Countdown, in magazine format. It’s called a bookazine and you’ll find it on well-stocked newsstands. (Sightings at Costco have already been reported.)

You know how much I love a good giveaway so stay tuned for chances to win copies of all the DIY Bride books!

This year is gearing up to be one of my most creative and exciting yet. It’s going to be so fun to share it all with you!

2011, a year many of us are unlikely to ever forget, has finally come to its end. On a personal level it was a year of trials and frustrations but also of tremendous growth and blessings. Though still a little scarred, I’m delighted to be on the other side of 2011 with a clear sense of purpose and direction in all areas of my life – including DIY Bride.

2012 begins as 2011 ended: with gratitude.  I want to thank each of you, dear friends, new visitors, and drop-in buddies, for the overwhelming support and kindness you contribute to the DIY Bride community. Your questions, contributions, participation, and financial support (advertising, purchases of books) has helped keep DIY Bride going strong as we celebrated our 9th year of blogdom last year. That is an extraordinary milestone for not only for me but for bloggers, crafters, and for the wedding industry. From the bottom of my heart: thank you, thank you, thank you!

This year brings many new challenges for us: sustainable growth, adding new features, maintaining the site, and expanding the brand into the DIY home/entertaining/cooking arena. It’s an exciting time and I hope you join me, Valerie, and Whitney, as strive to bring you exciting and useful content, inspiration, resources, and opportunities to help you celebrate who you are every day of the year.

Each January, instead of resolutions I never keep, I create a theme for the year ahead. 2011′s theme was “growth” (got that in spades, thank you very much). For 2012 I’ve chosen INCLUSIVE. This year is about bringing people together, creating welcoming environments, and strengthening communities. It’s about collectively working towards something greater. It’s about sharing and connecting and actively making a difference not only in our lives but in the lives of others. It’s harnessing the power of good for the benefit of all.

I welcome you to our community and look forward to doing wonderful, powerful acts of kindness and good together this year. Happy 2012!

Jessica asked us where she could find that lovely staple of vintage weddings, the mason jar, on the cheap and in bulk.

Hey Khris, I’m looking for 140-ish mason jars for table and stair decor at our reception. I’ve been stalking Craigslist and local 2nd hand stores but can’t find anything in my price range. One vintage reseller in my area was asking $3.00 per jar!! Know of any places I can find them for less than a dollar for a quart size?

 

Sure! The quart size is a little harder to find than the 16 ounce, especially for $1.00 or under but… here ya go!

• Kmart has cases of 12 for $9.99
• ToolDistrict 12 for $9.98
• Ace Hardware 12 for $11.49
• Bell (via Amazon) has 12 for $11.94
• Canning Pantry 12 for $11.99
• Fillmore Container $9.51 per 12 (fancy)
• Fillmore Container $7.09 per 12 (economy)

My mother is ruining my wedding! She and my father are contributing about 1/3 of our budget which (she thinks) gives her total control over our wedding. She vetoed my first choice of wedding gown. She canceled our invitation order so she could “upgrade”  our invitations with another company SHE liked better. She keeps adding HER friends (some of her former coworkers she hasn’t seen in more than 6 years) to our invite list and “suggests” cuts we make to our list of friends and my fiance’s family. I’ve confronted her. It got ugly. She threatened to pull all of her money. We can’t get married without it. What do we do?

 

Dear Emma,

I’m sorry you’re having problems with your mom. Weddings can sometimes bring out the worst in parents with a whole host of unhealthy behaviors bubbling to the surface. Some moms (and dads) have difficulties letting go of their “baby” and subconsciously do things to try to grasp that last bit of togetherness before their child embarks on creating her own family. Some parents use their child’s weddings to relive their own wedding experiences. Some parents simply have control issues. I’m not sure where your mom fits on the WTF, Mom?! scale but there are some major warning signs going on.

Are you ready for some tough love?

That said you “can’t getting married without [her] help” is a huge red flag. You need only an officiant, marriage certificate, and possibly a blood test to get married.  Did you mean to say that you can’t have the wedding you envisioned without her cash?

Here’s the deal: you CAN get married without her financial help. You’ll need to buck up and revise your plans, budget, and expectations but there’s no law that states you must have a wedding beyond your means and must get outside financial backing.

You have 2 options here:

1. Refuse her money, take back financial (and emotional) control of your wedding, and revise your plans to something within your financial means. There’s NO SHAME in small, intimate, budget weddings especially when you get to do it with dignity. Delay the wedding, save up some cash, and do it 100% your way if need be.

2. Suck it up and try to negotiate with your mom. Have you calmly told her how important these things are to you and your fiance? Have you pointed out – nicely and rationally – that she’s turning your wedding into it being all about her? Sometimes a frank conversation about damaging actions can be a wake-up call.

I know it’s a tough situation for you BUT, as an adult, you need to be able to look out for your own  financial and emotional well-being. Standing up to mom may well be your first act of independence and, really, it sounds like it’s the better option for your sanity and the health of the family you’re creating with your fiance.

Don’t forget to enter our contest to win 1 of 5 JIGsters from Envelopments. We’ve named this one of our favorite stationery tools – and certainly a “must have” for anyone who’s creating layered invitations, programs, save-the-dates, menus, table numbers …

Click over to the contest post for details about the product and instructions on how to enter. Contest ends 12/14.