Dec 30 2008
The Art of Negotiating, Part 1
Few things cause as much agony in the bridalsphere, from both couples and vendors, as negotiation. In my behind-the-scenes dealings with my wedding industry colleagues and with my interactions with you I’m privvy to both sides of the negotation table. What I see is a lot of misunderstanding and oftentimes bad advice (on both sides) about how to negotiate.
To start off, let’s look at what the worst missteps I see couples making in the negotiation process are:
- Lack of courtesy and respect for the vendor and the her time, talent, and product/service.
- Unrealistic expectations of the outcome of the negotiation.
- Inflexible about the terms of the negotiation.
These 3 points almost always kill the negotiation process and any chance you may have of getting a better deal for yourself. Why? Simply put: they’re all ego-based actions and offer the vendor no incentive to do you a favor. (And, yes, anytime a vendor alters her standard product, services, or prices to accommodate your needs it is an act of benevolence on their part. You’re not automatically entitled to those things.)
Over the next few days, we’ll take a look at the negotiation killers and ways to have drama-free, positive negotiations with your vendors.
The first one I want to talk about is lack of courtesy and respect for the vendor and the her time, talent, and product/service.
Most vendors work exceedingly hard to create their products or deliver their services. They rightfully expect to be fairly compensated for their time, supplies, expertise, and business expenses. They set their prices to ensure they cover their expenses and make a reasonable profit otherwise their business can’t survive. That’s business 101, right?
When couples approach a vendor with an attitude of entitlement or a mindset that they’re going into battle, it pretty much shuts down the negotiation process before it begins. Many vendors in the industry expect (and even welcome) some negotiation. All of them expect to be treated with respect and dignity during the process as much as you do.
An appreciation and understanding of their work/efforts/talents goes a long way. For example, while a wedding cake may look like just flour, sugar, eggs and frosting why should you pay $5.00 a slice for that? — so much more goes into creating one: like tens of hours of decorating, baking, training, product testing, recipe developing, high priced equipment, and a bunch other stuff just to get a cake to your reception. All of these things cost time and money to produce for you. Looking at it from that standpoint may help you understand why Chrissy Cakebaker can’t offer you an “Ace of Cakes” inspired creation for $1/slice.
It’s important to keep in mind that most small, independent wedding pros aren’t independently wealthy and are likely barely making a living off of their businesses. I mention this because demanding extras or reduced pricing seriously affects every businesses’ bottom line and their ability to sustain themselves. Some businesses by virtue of their business model or the economic conditions in their area cannot afford to negotiate on price at all. While this is ultimately not your problem, your budget restrictions are not their problem either. The whole point of negotiation is to come to an agreement that suits both parties. You know – a win/win situation.
Approach your vendors with an attitude of kindness, understanding, and collaboration. It’s your best bet for a positive outcome.
posted by m.e. for k.c.
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This is a GREAT post. Looking forward to the rest of the series.
Excellent post. Negotiating is definitely an art and can be beneficial to both parties when handled delicately (and not like a bull in a china shop). Can’t wait to read the rest of this series.
We are all facing tough economic times, I believe vendors would rather negotiate prices than to simply be passed by for a “cheaper” vendor.
Thanks for this topic! Negotiating is good, as long as both parties are working together. One of my friends is a professional photographer & as she says “I wouldn’t call a plumber & then ask him to fix my sink for free because I know somebody who knows somebody!”
Coming from the other side – you mention wedding and the prices go up. I know scores of people who priced say a cake for a wedding – exact same cake not mentioning wedding was priced at half the price.
Is it because vendors know that people are more willing to pay it for a wedding and therefore up goes the prices, or is this common in Australia where I am and not so much overseas? will be interesting to discover as I plan my wedding
I totally agree with you. I’m getting married in April, but I’m also a professional singer who sings a lot of weddings. I’ve been asked to sing an entire Mass plus several solos by a bride getting married over an hour away for $75. It’s just plain insulting. Like you said, negotiation is expected, but offering a fee that will barely cover the cost of gas is disrespectful.
Great idea for a series that will educate both sides! Can’t wait for the next “episode”.
[...] [Part 1 of the Negotiating Series] [...]
I would really like to thank you for what you wrote on cakes. I am a cake maker/decorator and run a small business. While I dont get many wedding orders I always have people trying to haggle my cake prices…and I have really good prices! I once had a customer get insulted at the price that I gave her because she was a friend of a distant family member of mine..and I was giving her a very very fair price considering that the cake was custom designed and carved.Take it from me..a small tiered fondant cake with minimal detail like say polka dots can take anwhere from 1-3 hours to do..plus baking time. Some people dont appreciate the art, time, and energy that goes into making a cake. I really thank you for pointing that out.
BTW, I do not and would never charge someone more because its for a wedding.