DIY Bride

I’m not a friend of the traditional bridal shower. The mere rumor of one being held in my social circle makes me break out in a sweat of dread and dismay. It’s not that I dislike hanging with my pals or that I don’t want to celebrate the bride. (I love my friends and family. Honest.)

What drives me away are those god-awful games. I hate them. Passionately. I think most are embarrassing/dumb/boring. They do not equate fun to me no matter how much I love the bride. And I’m one who loves be silly and who adores kitschy things! There’s just something about showers that I. don’t. get.

And I know I’m not alone. There have been grumblings in my circle about this very topic over the years and I get many requests from DIY Bride readers every year for suggestions on fun showers that don’t dumb it down.

Some ideas I’ve gathered over the years:

• Wine and chocolate tastings
• Spa-theme (at-home spa afternoon or a trip to a day spa for all)
• Stock-the-bar shower for the couple
• Craft day (invite the guests to participate in a crafty activity like a scrapbook for the couple, for example)
• “Small bites” dinner  party where everyone brings a fun, exotic dish plus the printed recipe for the couple to include in their recipe collection.
• Casino night. Play poker, offer prizes, serve pub grub … great for a couples shower or even for girls only.

I’d like to elicit from you, my DIYers, some ideas for shower ideas that don’t suck. What are some fun, sophisticated, hip shower themes/activities that don’t involve purse raids or bingo?

After my “About My Wedding” post a few days ago, I’ve received several emails asking what I’d change about my registry. (I had no idea registries were such a hot topic.)

I’m kinda squeamish about registries. The idea of telling my guests what to give me still makes me a bit uncomfy. I know, as a guest, they’re tremendously helpful. (As an aside, some of the gifts we loved the most were not on our list at all.)

Registries are a tricky thing because you’re selecting items that are in season now that are supposed to fit into your lifestyle/decor/living space for years to come. Unless you have a crystal ball, there’s no way you’ll be able to predict what your housewares and decor styles/needs will be in X years from now. And that’s ok. Pick what you love right now and enjoy the gifts.

What We Did Right

There are some things from our registry that we absolutely hit a run with. We’re still using our Anolon cookware and Henckels cutlery, 7 years after our wedding. Extremely satisfied with both. Our Kitchen Aid blender has served us well. Glass and metal mixing bowl sets from Crate & Barrel have been terrific and sturdy.

What We Would’ve Changed

• Cut back on the gadgets. We have more doohickies and thingamajigs than you can shake a whisk at. I love gadgets but we ended up with a lot of specialty tools that we don’t use and that are taking up precious space in our small apartment (or that were never used and donated to Goodwill).
• Cut out a lot of frivolous stuff. Related to the point above, we put things on our registry that we really didn’t need but added anyway because they were (a) at low prices points, (b) they looked cool, or (c) because they were on a list of “must haves” that we got from some wedding magazine or wherever. (This includes gadgets, duplicates sets of anything, special glassware, bar stuff, linens, decorative kitchen stuff …)
• Added more basic-but-pretty serving dishes. We entertain far more than we ever thought we would and had to add a lot of serving stuff to our supplies very quickly post-wedding.
• Never, ever asked for any vases. We ended up with 15 or 16 billion of them. (A slight exaggeration.)
• Put a registry for charity somewhere. I don’t remember if places like the I Do Foundationexisted in 2000, but I sure would’ve created a way for our guests to donate charitably. My DH just reminded me we did ask for donations to the cancer society as an option in lieu of gifts. No one did donate (that we’re aware of.)

Those are the major things we learned soon after the wedding that we would’ve changed. The short answer is we would’ve edited the list to our most basic needs and things that we absolutely lusted for that fit into our space and lifestyle. If we could’ve had that crystal ball we would’ve added a Kitchen Aid stand mixer, some quality tools for the grill, and some basic linens that could be transitioned from season-to-season. For non-household stuff, we would’ve registered for camping/outdoor gear.

Not earth-shattering, uber-fascinating info, is it? But you asked and, well, there ya go.

It’s crafts like this that make me wish I were a fiber crafter.

Berroco, fashion yarn house, is offering a free pattern/instructions for making this most awesome Crochet Wedding Cake. Can you stand it? I’m dying over here from the cuteness.

The layers of the cake are separate. That means you can put stuff inside! Berroco shows putting china under the bottom layer. I think this would be darling for a bridal shower. Or as centerpieces/decor at the reception.

P.S. Berroco gives away free patterns every Friday.

I don’t talk about my wedding much here mostly because it is now in the distant past. Next month will mark my 7th wedding anniversary and to reference it seems somehow odd.

Weddings haven’t changed that much since 2000, really. The trends are different, sure, and you guys have so many more options and resources now. My attitude about weddings has certainly changed and I know lots of nifty shortcuts and crafty stuff. But, at the end of the day, you’re all dealing with pretty much the same stuff I did waaaay back then.

Since many of you don’t know me that well - or at all - I thought I’d give a little Khris’ wedding 411.

Wedding Date: October 07

Place: (Ceremony) Berkeley Rose Garden; (Reception) Brazilian Room

Number of Guests: 120-ish

Catering: Serves You Right

Cake: Julie Durkee of Torino Baking (She’s since gone on to Food Network Fame. I’m so proud.)

Photography: Michelle Walker. Brilliant. Wonderful. We still love her and her work. Highly recommended.

Hair: Stacey Williams (genius); Makeup: Done at Preston Wynn in Saratoga.

Dress: Don’t remember! Mori Lee, I think. Purchased at Trudy’s Brides in Campbell, CA.

Bagpiper: Ian … cannot remember his last name. He was good.

Transportation: A 1940’s Citroen, owned and chauffeured by a friend of the family.

Wedding Night Accommodation: The Claremont Resort and Spa

Honeymoon: French Polynesia (Vahine Island and Bora Bora). Highly recommended.

Our DIY Projects: Favors (petits fours in a hand-cut vellum box), invitations/rsvp, programs, thank yous, guest book (doubled as the CD covers for our reception music) and all of our reception music.

What I remember most: Being outrageously, gloriously happy and sharing that with the most amazing people on the planet. Dancing. Falling flat on my arse because my bustle pushed the chair out from under me when I went to sit down. Being outrageously, gloriously tired at the end of the evening. The cake. Being silly with our friends and family.

What I would’ve changed: Nothing and lots. Saying I’d change anything feels like I’m saying I have regrets. I don’t. Buuuut…

• I would’ve picked the *right* dress for me. I was in a situation where I had to settle. It wasn’t bad. It just wasn’t me.
• I wouldn’t have gone into deep debt.
• I would’ve accepted more help from those that offered.
• I would’ve worked more with my husband to make the wedding and reception more reflective of us and not a variation of what was “the norm” or suggested at the time.
• I would’ve changed my bmaid situation. Too much drama, totally not worth it.
• I would’ve gone on honeymoon right away and not waited over a week to leave. I went to work the Monday after my wedding!  (We had originally booked  a spot in Fiji but they went into some sort of civil unrest right before the honeymoon. We had to change plans only a few weeks out and couldn’t get anyplace we wanted right after the wedding.)
• Reworked our registry. Cut out all of the frivolous stuff and gone heavy with the gadgety stuff we love and better dishes. (We did not, however, register for china and do not regret that one bit.)

My advice:

• Celebrate who are you now, not who you’ll think you’ll be in X number of years. We fell prey to the “Don’t do xyz. You’ll look back in X years from now and regret it.” spiel. Humbug! Hogwash! You will never, ever know who you’ll become or what your preferences will be in x number of years. Enjoy the now, my friends.
• Let go of your control issues. Doing so will save you from so much drama, tears, and stress.
• Work harder on preparing for the marriage than the wedding.
• Communicate. Love. Trust.
• Don’t be afraid to ask for help or guidance.
• Don’t be afraid to set boundaries around your wedding plans or your relationship(s). Lots of people will have opinions about how you should celebrate your wedding.
• Treat each other with kindness, honor, and dignity. Always.
• Get the best photographer you can afford.
• Treat your guests with kindness and love. Invite only those that you hold dear.
• Have a fabulous, fun honeymoon.

Hey, crafty peeps. If you’re in the Chicago area this weekend, do check out the Renegade Craft Fair for all kinds of delightful, handmade goodness. There will be over 100 incredibly crafty vendors with wares that’ll knock your socks off. Click on the banner below for the full details.

I’ve been a long-time admirer of the napkin arts. I honestly really love artfully folded napkins. It’s just a really sweet touch, a nice detail.

The folks at CRAFT magazine pointed NapkingFoldingGuide.com today, and lemming that I am, I popped over to check it out. OMG! The site features 27 creatively folded napkins complete and step-by-step instructions on how to do them. Cool!

Hey, bargain hunters! There are a couple of great sales going on you should know about.

Joann’s: 40% off

Kate’s Paperie: 80% off Envelopements (select styles in packs of 25)

The coupons/links:

Is it ..

… could it be …

… wait … oh yes!

It’s a PROJECT!

A bona fide, real life, DIY Bride project!

I bring you the first project I’ve done for this site in a long, long time. And it’s an easy one for all of you craft neophytes.

Behold, my DIY disciples: the versatile, simple, and cheap chalkboard votive.

What’s a chalkboard votive, you ask? It’s a glass votive cup that’s been sprayed with - get this - chalkboard paint. Genius! (And utterly inspired by some pricey but wonderful chalkboard vases found elsewhere.)

These little guys can be used to house candles or candies or even small bunches of flowers. The cool factor is that you can write whatever you’d like on the outside. Great for place cards, no? Or how above little love notes to your guests? A word of thanks?

Supplies Needed

1. Chalkboard paint (found at craft stores and home improvement centers)
2. Votive cups
3. Newspaper or other covering to protect your work surface
4. Well-ventilated work area (do this outside if at all possible)
5. Chalk

Instructions

1. Cover your work surface with newspaper.
2. Wash and thoroughly dry your votive cups. This removes any gunk and fingerprints to ensure you get a nice, even coverage of paint.
3. Turn the votive cups upside down on the work surface. (So you don’t spray inside the cup.)
4. Spray the votives with chalkboard paint. Hold the paint can about 8″ - 12″ from the cup and spray lightly. Too much paint will leave runny marks down the side of the glass.
5. Let the paint dry per manufacturer’s directions. (About an hour should do. Your time may vary.)
6. Add another coat, if you want. Sometimes it takes a 2nd to cover any spots you may have missed or to get a good base on larger pieces.
7. After the paint is dry, write your message on the votive. Voila!

Notes

1. The paint is seriously stinky! I highly recommend spraying outside.
2. Really let the paint dry completely between coats and before using. If the paint is even the tiniest bit wet, it’ll peel away from the glass when you try to write or you’ll leave permanent chalk indentations.
3. Terra cotta pots work well for this as do larger pieces like vases, bowls, wine bottles, jars. You can use stone, wood, tile — just about any hard surface.
4. Mask off parts of your project to create little areas of chalkboard instead of spraying the whole thing.
5. Don’t spray inside the cup if you’re going to use it for food. The paint is not non-toxic.
6. I that the big pieces of chalk (like for sidewalk art) that had a pointed end were easier to use than the standard skinny chalk sticks.

(the supplies)

(turned upside down and painted)

(the final product, complete with smudgy fingerprints from yours truly)

One of my favorite online fabric shops, Denver Fabrics, will soon be changing ownership. The current owners are offering 30% off their entire fabric inventory to prep for the new owners. (I’m not sure how long they’ll be offering the discount. Sorry! Please ask them directly if you have any questions.)

Here’s the code: Use coupon code: ALLFAB%30.

The celeb gossip world is buzzing with news that one of P. Diddy’s guests was turned away for wearing an off-white trousers to his annual White Party, where guests are instructed to wear all white. Horrors! Oh, the scandal!

(Not that I’d ever land an invite to Diddy’s party but I look HORRIBLE in all-white. What about us pale-skinned people that look like death in white, Mr. Combs? I could never attend. It’s unfair. I protest.)
This got me thinking about about the etiquette and appropriateness of demanding or requesting that wedding guests adhere to a certain dress code. Over the years I’ve seen “black tie”, “beach casual”, “your vintage best”, and eye-roll-inducing “please no light blue attire” on invitations.

So, I’m curious what you think. Is it ever appropriate for a couple to mandated a dress code at their wedding? (This is assuming that all guests are reasonably sane and cultured adults.)